Stompies vs Ulcer URC 2026

You'll simply have to follow my amazing commentary

Okay but you can only post falseness. I want to watch a complete fantasy unfold. An Ou Maaik game of rugby, if you will.

So for starters, somehow, Esterhuizen is playing.

Bloody Ulster don't want to scrum...so they shift back on the hit and Piardi falls for it and gives them a free kick...so lame

Esterhuizen gets the ball, runs into the stands, bliksims the entire Ulster fan base...runs back on and scores

Esterhuizen gets the ball, runs into the stands, bliksims the entire Ulster fan base...runs back on and scores

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Hey, the hockey has fucked off. Ulcer appears to be driving for the line.

Ulster batter the Stormers line until Werner Kok gets a pass over the top to score in the corner.

Conversion slotted

14-17 Stormers

Kok scores again in almost a replay of his first. Worry so slow to get wide.

Willemse just showed Trokkie who da boss is

Now someone rubs Piccardi's head and his genie appears. Some weird streams tonight.

This size ground would be perfect for the Lions.

Wish they could move from Ellis Park

Tell me Plummie, how can Dobson not see that Worry is worth -14 the moment he takes the field?

Sacha tackles himself cause he has no faith in Ulcer pulling it off.

Commentators ripping into Roos at the moment talking about his poor cleaning out and switching off at crucial moments

And the old pick and go ends in a turnover. And Ulcer taps and goes and take it all the way to the Stompies 22.

Dobson, play some 50/50 FFS.

Ulcer over, simple run and gun from the maul. All that from picking and going and picking and going until the opposition pick you and go themselves.

"Tell me Plummie, how can Dobson not see that Worry is worth -14 the moment he takes the field?"

It annoys the shit out of me...as you know.

He literally handed Ulster that first try because he thinks a chicken wing is on when he's on his own 5m and being tackled.

Ulster take the lead now

I guess picking and going is pretty 50/50 too then eh, Dobbo?

At least we'll get to to see 80 minutes of razor sharp 15 play from Quan tomorrow

Man Sacha just turning nothing into something.

Sacha makes some nice momentum stepping through the middle and getting the offload away...

and then bloody Roos has another brain fart, gets up off the floor and gets penalised for off the ball stuff...so damn stupid

And Roos with another brainfart. Jeebus.

Seriously, WTF was Roos doing there?

Sacha can lead them to water but he can't make them drink.

Getting his knickers in a twist I think it's called.

So we compare Roos and Hanekom...

Would you ever see Hanekom do this brainless stuff? Of course not, he incapable of lacking that many IQ points.

Moz is right when he says that Kwagga's brain in Roos' body would be a great player.

They could have scored and bypassed that if they didn't default back to the pick and go after building all that momentum. No, let's make it sloooow again now that we've got them on the ropes and backpedalling. So stupid.

Will we see of this stupid stuff from Venter or Francke tomorrow...we know we won't.

If you're Rassie and your watching this....

1) Roos scores a try

2) Roos gets held up

3) Roos gives away a penalty that leads to a try

4) Roos switches off allowing Ulster break to out and go the length of the field

5) Roos gives away another penalty when the Stormers were right on Ulsters line at the end of the half

P Divvy has been good. He was picked at 16 today...

Khan has also been good.

But the Stompies backs haven't gelled and made anything - same old

https://livetv.sx/enx/eventinfo/373521594_olster_stormerz/#webplayer_alieztv|259261|373521594|3010199|430|33|en

Ja that's not a good look.

Howzit guys, just got back home in time to see Zas score. I was hoping to find the Stompies further ahead. Looks like they're reviewing this for something . . .

If I was Ulcer I'll absolutely keep niggling him now.

Nice!

Stompies find some flow early in the half and Zas goes over after nice counter ruck...

Wait...they're checking for a tackle in the air...

Try cancelled

Howzit Rooi en Mr Hit & Run Blob.

Howzit Rooi

Roos has done his best to help Ulster win this one

First time Zas has done something noteworthy all season and it doesn't count.

No try. Still 21-17 to Ulster.

Has Gelant been terrible? Was Deon Fourie subbed at half time?

Ulster score in the corner. This is not looking good. 26-17.